Stepping Stones
by TheWildFooL
Summary: After the encounter with a former Templar of the White Spire, he has yet to understand the consequences of his decision that faithful day. To help him better understand his changes – the Inquisitor decides to walk a difficult path as a guidance.
1. Chapter 1: Becoming Human

**_Dragon Age: Stepping Stones_**

By: TheWildFool2011

_**(I do not own Dragon Age series nor its characters...well can I say I owned my custom Dalish Inquisitor? Ah, never mind. Let the after story begin!)**_

* * *

_"Do you feel better?" Varric asked as I handed Bianca back to him._

_My fist shook in rage. An emotion that was foreign. I glared murderously at former Templar. The man who killed the real Cole, who locked him away and forgot. Those painful last few hours...I stayed. Holding his hand until the pain ceased. "No." I exclaimed through clenched teeth. The memories of the forgotten boy flooding all at once._

_"Good, that's what being human is all about," Varric responded as he disarmed the crossbow. I felt his heavy hand on my back, as we turned hill._

_I wanted to make the man forget, but Varric said it would be best if he remembered. I was to angry to ask why, and with that – a chapter closed. The very last of the real Cole all laid to rest. _

_Peaceful yet the war raged on. _

_Suffocating, dark, coldness – this anger drenched me. It changed, I changed. People could see, its scary. But, Varric promised me it would easier. He said I'd learn to love, laugh, cry and...be human._

_What does it mean to be human?_

_Why do I feel all this hurt?_

_Will it go away?_

_I...I'm not sure I'll like being human._


	2. Chapter 2: Change

**_Dragon Age: Stepping Stones_**

By: TheWildFool2011

_**(I do not own Dragon Age series nor its characters...well can I say I owned my custom Dalish Inquisitor? Ah, never mind. Let the after story begin!)**_

* * *

_"When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything." ~ **Stephen Richards**_

* * *

Cole stood there in his normal spot in the upper part of the tavern. It wasn't quiet as usual, which was normal. As he began to notice the little things, it had irritated him and made his listening very difficult.

Even as he listened, he could hear his own thoughts. They weren't quite as loud as others. Mostly everything that came to his mind made little to no sense at all, which frustrated him.

It had only been four weeks since the encounter at Redcliffe. He had felt the changes – it was all too strange for him. It felt like all his stonewalls he had built were being knocked down. It was too strong, too much – Cole looked up as his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar someone.

Within view came a curious little elf. She wore her normal outfit, with the exception of shoes which she seemed to complain about. Her skin was dark, with the vallaslin of the god Mythal. Hair black and long, scattered around her shoulders. Cole always smiled when she was around, he didn't quite understand why. She gave off a goofy smile.

"Hi, Cole!" She exclaimed happily as she practically skipped over to him.

"Hello," He reply all too eager, he watched her with curious eyes, "How are you?"

She nearly twirled in a perfect circle, and walked over to sit on the chest beside Cole. "I am great Cole! Today is going amazingly well, and you?" She watched as Cole sat down with his arm on his propped up knee.

Cole took off his hat, "I'm alright. Just thinking, but it's nice to see you smile." He nearly jumped when he felt her wrap her tiny arms around his larger arm. She placed her head against his arm.

"And it's equally nice to see you smile too Cole," she sighed in content. Silence settled in until Cole shifted slightly, and lifted his free hand to scratch at nearly visible chin hairs. "So, how does it feel to be...more human?" She asked as she looked up at the blonde.

"Strange." Cole stated as soon as the bard began to sing Nightingale's Eyes. "It isn't comforting, I get flashbacks of the real Cole's memories. It's scary." He felt the little elf unloop her arm from his as she listened intensely.

"Just explain the best way you can," she smiled lightly, "Remember, it's all a part of being human."

His pale blue eyes shifted to his fingerless gloves, "The old walls crumbled, the light shines in the distance. I reach and I feel someone – something touch me. Warm, loving, caring. A...friend?" He tugged downwards at his gloves to secure them, "The breeze died down, it's much warmer. He smiled, knowing he can pass on easily, home. His mother and sister in the distance – the real Cole is thankful. Surprised, yet satisfied."

"That's one way to get your feelings out," she laughed lightly as she laid her head in the palm of her hand. "To Solas, Varric or I. Want to try again?"

Cole slowly nodded his head. He leaned forward slightly, "It's different?" He almost questioned himself, "I kind of want to hit things a lot. Varric is helping with that."

The Inquisitor couldn't help but laugh, "Aw, try not to hit too many things. Save it for the field?"

"Varric said the same thing." Cole exclaimed all but surprised. "I'll do that. If it makes you stay happy, Nienna."

Nienna caught Cole by a surprise when she wrapped her arms around him. "That'll make a lot of people happy." She stayed like that for a while, head against Cole's broad shoulders. "Hmm, I have an idea!" She jumped to her feet.

Cole watched her attentively. He could feel her happiness radiate from her, it was comforting.

"Would you like to go out?"

"O-out? Out where?" He asked curiously as he tilted his head.

Nienna playfully grabbed him by his hand to bring him too his feet, "You'll see! And I think you'll have fun. You need to get out sometimes."

"Oh, okay..." Cole put his hat on and began to follow the small girl around. She had ran a few errands around Skyhold before departing to Val Royeaux.

It took several days to arrive but, for Nienna it was worth seeing Cole somewhat content. They walked through the main gates that lead to the marketplace of the exquisite city.

Nienna ran ahead looking around, she had been there a few times before but, it never cease to amaze her on how busy the streets were. She would stop several times to look over her shoulder, making sure she didn't lose Cole in the crowd.

It was only the two of them which was the way Nienna wanted it to be. Nienna had stopped in front of the outdoor café, it was fancy to say the less – not that she expected it to be ran down. She knew very well that there was no such thing in the Orlais. Cole had hardly been paying attention as he listened to those around him, he bumped into the little elf.

He stepped off to the left, "I'm sorry," he pulled at the brim of his hat, "I was stuck in thought."

"It's fine," she beamed brightly at the blonde, "Just be more careful, right?" Cole nodded.

"Inquisitor! You honor us with your presence." The waiter exclaimed with enthusiasm. "May I bring a sampling fine cheeses for you and your guest?"

Nienna gave Cole a questioning look. The young man tilted his head to the side, uncertain he replied quietly, "I don't eat." His voice deep as he looked at the masked man.

The appeared to be slightly shocked, or at least Nienna thought so. "Well, then, just a bottle of a fine Ghislain White to start." He then turns to show the two to their table. As Nienna took her seat, the man nodded his head once, "Please enjoy your meal this evening, your worship."

Cole watched as the man stalked off, and then proceeded to seat himself. "He saw me. They all see me," he stated slightly surprised but, his wavering voice gave hint to disbelief.

"I'm glad you allowed them to." Nienna smiled as she stared into Cole's icey blue eyes. He appeared content on the outside, but the curious little elf sensed that there was some what of fear hidden behind Cole's eyes.

"I don't know if I did," Cole exclaimed with disbelief holding on to his voice, "I fine people when their pain leaves them open. I ease the pain. I leave. They forget." He hunched his back over holding his upper body weight by placing his hand on his thigh, "That was enough for me. Now they remember, and I'm not sure...ah" He trailed off as a small smile tugs at his lips, a light hearted laugh escapes.

Nienna gave the blonde a worried look, "Cole?"

"I told you about Rhys, the mage who could see me. My friend." Cole replied, "My only friend. For a long time. Evangeline showed me that Templars could be kind, but even she..." He sighed sadly.

Nienna frowned, "Cole, if this is troubling, we don't have to talk about it." Her eyebrows furrowed as the young man began to speak.

Cole's features softened as he spoke, "Gentle. You watch me walk into darkness over and over, and you always worry. Thank you." A tinge of emotion behind his voice, "But this isn't about them. It's about..." He paused for a moment. "When I found out I wasn't human, when I grew, I lost Rhys. I lost my only friend. That's why I was scared about letting all these people see me. That's why I laughed."

Nienna furrowed her brow, in confusion. "So, you're laughing at yourself...?" She questioned the blonde.

"Yes." Cole answered in assurance, "This world taught me that changing means losing your friends." He looked her straight in her eyes. He appeared to be happy. "But now I know that doesn't have to be true. I have enough self to know that what I felt was foolish." He smiled brightly at her, "Isn't that wonderfully?"

To see such a light hearted and nearly care free smile, it warmed Nienna's heart. "That's another good step Cole."

The smile stayed upon Cole's thin face. "I might like being human." His tone subtle, "What do you think I'll learn next?" A hint of excitement as he happily looked at the Inquisitor.

"I'm sure you'll learn a lot Cole," she answered softly as she took a sip of her wine, "And we'll be there to see you through to the end. I'll be there as well, cheering for you."


	3. Chapter 3: Life Doesn't Stop

**_Dragon Age: Stepping Stones_**

By: TheWildFool2011

_**(I do not own Dragon Age series nor its characters...well can I say I owned my custom Dalish Inquisitor? Ah, never mind. Let the after story begin!)**_

* * *

_"Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody." ~ **Stephen Chbosky**_

* * *

_We won. Corypheus is gone, and we won. That's wonderful yes?_

_But why does she have such a sad song? Solas. I see. I understand._

_He left and she believes it's her fault. She's wrong, but she doesn't know this._

_I want her hurt to stop. I want to help, I have to. It doesn't matter if I can be seen. I must help._

* * *

Cole watched seldomly as the Inquisitor finished conversing with her circle and advisors. He overheard Josephine mumbling on about how late the platters would arrive, she profusely apologized to the Inquisitor.

He eyed the elf carefully. A frown. Nobody else noticed, but he did. Her pain was loud, and it hurt Cole to listen, but he did. The brightness he had saw with in her before, had dimmed down.

"Hey, kid."

Cole nearly jumped as his thoughts and listening were interrupted. He came face to face with Varric, who held out a drink, offering. "No, thank you. It smells funny."

Varric laughed, "Fine, suit yourself kid. Anyway, how are you enjoying party?" He asked with a wide smile on his face, "That was one hell of a fight with Corypheus. And I survived...we survived. A joyest occasion, that's needs more drinks."

"It is...fine?" Cole replied as he looked back up, only to see that the Inquisitor had vanished into her quarters. He sighed, "Yes, a happy occasion. Happy..." He trailed off as he sunk deep into thought.

"Finally nice to see that fucker gone." Varric exclaimed proudly, "Hawke would be proud...I just know he would. Someone who managed to fix both Blondie and his mistake, two birds in one stone, by one little lady with the world at her back." He glanced up at Cole, to see that the boy was troubled. "Whatever is on your mind kid, just know you can tell me."

Cole nodded, "Thank you, Varric. I'm fine, it's just..." He sighed again, "Nothing."

"Alright, but you know where I'll be if you wish to talk." Varric shifted his gaze to where Cole had been attentively staring at, "You know...it's supposed to a victory to celebrate. But, little lady's eyes show a sign of defeat. It's more blatantly obvious when you look her in the eyes, than listen to her voice."

He sighed as he looked down into his tankard, "Chuckles messed up really bad this time..."

Cole watched from the corner of his eye as Varric walked off, to mingle with the others. He turned his attention back to the door that lead to Lavellan's quarters.

He wondered if his powers were still strong enough to be able to slip everyone's attention. It only took little thought for Cole, he began to weave in and out of the crowd. He only felt familiar eyes land on him. Much to his surprise they did not protest as he entered Lavellan's quarters.

Closing the door ever so lightly, he stalked up the steps. He came face to face with a closed door and pressed his ear lightly against the door. Sobbing, not all too quiet but not loud either. He closed his eyes as he listened to her, searching for the source of the hurt.

He drew a sharp breath, "_Lonely, heartache, fear. I'm drowning, he left. Why did he leave? Did I throw myself into this dark pit of nothingness? Could I have done something different? Orb shatters in tiny pieces, a shadow of its former. Sad, disappointed, as he looked longingly at the orb. A brief conversation, the pain eminent. He leaves. It's my fault, all mines. And..._" Cole gritted his teeth as he stood. He didn't hesitate to turn the door knob, but almost regretted doing so; as an extremely sharp ice sickle flew pass his head.

Nienna shook from head to toe. She drew her arms close to her chest, "I...I'm sorry Cole. I didn't mean to– I wasn't expecting..." Tears steadily increased as her bottom lip quiver.

Cole had closed the door behind him and walked to close a small distance between the two. He looked at the small girl as sobs wrecked her body, he frowned. He told himself mental over and over, she didn't do anything wrong; she didn't deserve such heartache.

"I'm sorry," her brow furrowed and a look of guilt settled in, "I must appear really pathetic to you right now..." She sniffles as she turned her gaze downward. Slowly, she sank to her knees, wrapping her arms around herself. "Corypheus is gone...I should be happy, right? I should..." Unable to finish her words, she bit the bottom of her lip – nearly choking on a sob.

Cole lowered himself, to her level. He removed his hat, placing it to the side and reached a hand to pat her on the head. "You are hurting. Wondering if you could have done something differently. Hammering negative words into your head; it's my fault, all my fault," he allowed himself to sit down fully, "It is not. You couldn't have known he would leave. And he was just as surprised, if not afraid, as you are. The outcome wasn't what he was expecting, yet he does not blame you – but himself. He is hammered with grief and you believe the blame to be your own. You are wrong," he almost whispered.

"B-but, I could have..." She tried to wipe the tears away, but they wouldn't stop. "If I hadn't have broken the orb, he would have never left..."

Cole flinched slightly. He didn't know why, but it bothered him to see her cry. He didn't like this for her. "No, the end would have stayed the same." Gently he moved his hand down towards her face, slowly wiping the tears away.

Her big brown eyes widened, surprised with the spirits' actions. She brought her own slender hand to touch a larger hand. "Cole...please, help me. Make me forget him please..." She buried her cheek into calloused hands.

"_Clinging, longing, wanting. Don't make it go away. This guilt like a dagger to my chest, hate builds but crumbles like an old worn shack. Forget, forget, forget...don't want to,_" Cole muttered and wiped away more tears, "I can help, but please take back what you said. That, I won't do."

"Why?!" She shouted; digging her nails into his hand, "You can't deny me! Why are you doing this to me..." Caught by surprise, Cole pulled her into a warm embrace. "It's not fair..."

"No. I denied you, because your heart does not want to forget. Forgetting is like losing something precious. And memories of Solas are fond. I want you to take it back."

"I don't want to feel this pain anymore..."

Cole felt her shake within his embrace, "Yes, but you don't want to forget."

"I-I don't," she stuttered, "Cole...help me. Please, help..." She buried her face into his worn shirt, soaking the cloth in tears.

He breathed deeply. A smell of forest trees and elfroot came rushing through his nostrils, "I will. You've helped me, now I can help back. I want to."

* * *

_"Compassion is something that listens to the pain within. Compassion wants to help, not because it has to, but because it wishes to." ~ **JT**_


	4. Chapter 4: Nightmares and Fears

**_Dragon Age: Stepping Stones_**

By: TheWildFool2011

_**(I do not own Dragon Age series nor its characters...well can I say I owned my custom Dalish Inquisitor? Ah, never mind. Let the after story begin!)**_

* * *

_"Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul." ~ **Dave Pelzer**_

* * *

_"Shh, Bunny, mama said to be silent and hide." The young boy whispered nervously. He held her close to his chest, hand clasped over her mouth. They hide away within the kitchens' cabinet. It was dark with only few cracks and holes in the door._

_"COLE!"_

_The boy nearly jumped at the sound of his name. His sister had started to cry once again. "Bunny! You're going to get us in trouble..." He heard the loud stomping of heavy feet, "Please, Bunny, don't cry..."_

_"Cole, you little bastard! You think you can hide from me forever?!"_

_He whimpered as tears fell down his face. With his sister close to him, he pressed his back against the wall, careful to move the dagger his mother had given him._

_He heard a loud bang. The door, he though, had been broken down. "Come out and die like a man!" _

* * *

Cole woke suddenly in cold sweat. Breathing heavy he placed a hand over his heart; it felt like a race horse was trapped in his chest. He shook from head to toe violently, as if he were cold. A dark image stuck within his mind, this was all new to him. It felt real and familiar, as if that event had happened to him in the past.

He laid back down as he ran his hands through his hair, he gripped tightly. Streams of tears began to fall down his face, silently sobbing to himself. He gritted his teeth. He wanted so badly to scream, but didn't want to alarm patrons inside tavern; if they could even hear him or cared.

After, gaining some form of control over his sobs, he sat back up again and swung his legs over the edge of the bed; feet pressed firmly against the wooden floor. He rubbed his eyes to make sure all traces of crying was gone.

After stretching out, his ears picked up on loud instruments and voices. He glanced at the door that lead to the taverns attic; songs of just and victories were being sung. Cole had figured that the songs would be never ending, arising and glorified into the next age.

Frustrated he sighed, clearing his mind of the simple noises he heard. He wanted to know what had just happened to him, the whole thing felt off; yet it seemed like a puzzle piece to a past he never had. He could hardly recall this ever happening to him at the White Spire. Now, that he thinks about it – there were a handful of trivial matters he could not remember when he resided at the Spire.

Silently, he rose to his feet and walked over to the washben, splashing the semi-warm water on his face. He suspected one of the workers inside the tavern had replaced the old water with fresh warm water, only by a special request of the Inquisitor or one of the inner circle or advisors. Other than that, they would never do so and rather pretended he didn't exist or they truly did not care.

They didn't renovate the room, connected to the tavern, like they had been told too. And due to this the inner circle and the advisors, specifically Cullen for heavy lifting had to do their best to clean the room for Cole. Of course, Nienna was not happy that the trivial and simple task fell upon her and the inner circle; and scolded those who were originally intended to complete the task.

Almost all of the residents within Skyhold gave frightful looks or they would talk about him behind his back. Everything that they had said about him, within earshot of one of the inner circle, would be reported. The whole mistreatment of his being had gone on for a few months, and seemed to only worsen. He knew that he wouldn't be treated nicely in one day, but he did not expect such negativity to last so long. The inner circle and advisors, with the exception of Sera at the time and Vivienne, would try to cheer him up and encourage him.

It bothered him, but he never complained about the treatment. He believed the whole entire ordeal to be trivial and meaningless. However, the kids of Skyhold seemed to have taken a liking to him. They always asked around for him he wasn't in his normal spot and beckoned him to play. It was something that he enjoyed to do – from time to time.

He stared down into the washben as the water dripped from his hair and face, creating a ripple effect. The dream still fresh in his mind, he couldn't help that his reflection, that he saw, was that of a broken boy. A boy who couldn't escape an abusive past. This troubled him because, as whatever he was before – he hardly had something he could call a past. No matter the kindness of others, kids or close friends, he couldn't escape these rushing memories; that nearly causes him to shutdown from time to time. Though it hardly ever kept him from helping those who hurt.

He reached for a washcloth to dry his face and walked to the opposite side of the room to get dressed for the day. With a finishing touch, he polished the armour on his hat and left out through the door that lead to the tavern.

He noticed Sera looking out the window with a sack by her side. She just started to appear on the third floor more often and that was to mainly play her pranks on hardworkers.

Cole didn't quite understand why she was so amused by causing mischief and slight tension. He figured that once the time arrived for him to understand, he would find it stressful and irritating.

He gave a small smile, "Hello, Sera." He noticed that the elf jumped a little. The girl shook her head, in a way of irritation and disapproval.

"Ugh, it's you," she exclaimed without looking at him, "Yeah, yeah hi. Now leave me to my work, yeah? I'm busy, and would prefer not to be bothered with...you." She began to search her sack for something.

For some strange reason, he never thought anything bad about the way Sera treated him. Cole seemed happy to just be acknowledged by the troublemaker. He nodded and walked downstairs to reach the first floor, nearly running into one of the Bull's Chargers.

Cole reached forward grabbing the Charger by the shirt and catching the drink in one hand, it wasn't perfect as the drink spilled from the tankard. "I'm sorry..." He exclaimed as the Charger regained their footing.

"No, worries. Honestly, it was mostly my fault," Cole received a pat on the back with a grin.

"Oi, Krem you tripping up over there?"

Krem laughed slightly, "Not a chance, Rocky!" He looked at Cole as he was handed the tankard back, "Damn dwarf has been trying hard to catch me doing something stupid for weeks. Aye, you're Cole right?"

"Yes." Cole exclaimed as he watched the short interaction between Rocky and Krem.

"Bull talks a lot about you, says you're a good kid. To receive a complement that he shares openly about someone is rare. He talks a lot but, sharing opinions of specific people seems to be something he lacks with such a huge mouth." Before, Cole could respond; Krem spoke once again, "Well, it's good to actually see you; instead of taking shit guesses like all the others. I hear your name and people hardly remembered what you look like! Strange that..."

"Hurry your ass up, Krem!" Rocky shouted from across the room.

"Don't get your trousers in a bunch, dwarf!" Krem shouted back. He turned back to face Cole, "I've got to go before I have to toss the idiot. Anyhow, enjoy your day."

Cole tilted his head to the side. He wanted to question the man about what Bull said, about him.

"There you are kid!" Varric exclaimed with open arms. He gave Cole a playful punch to his forearm, "You know the Inquisitorialness has been looking around for you?"

"I just woke up..." Cole exclaimed with a light blush. "Do you know where she might be?"

Varric shrugged, "Don't know, gotta go searching for her kid." He started to walk up to the bartender, stopping midway. "...Oh, also, you really don't seem the type to sleep in late." He laughed, "Watch it kid, your human is starting show!"

Cole gave the dwarf a puzzled look, not entirely understanding what he meant. He sighed slightly and made his way to the tavern exit. Cole's hat blocked the beaming sunlight, but even with the sun out the heat was overpowered by the winter coldness.

He surveyed the area, quickly noting of how few people where around; including Scout Harding. Cole thought to look within Skyhold's Castle, but turned the idea down. Suddenly, he spotted Cassandra along with Cullen and newly recruited Grey Warden Thom Rainer, marching troops down to the entrance of Skyhold's court. Swiftly, Cole made his way over to the stone fence. He leaned forward to get a better view of the trial march.

"Stand at attention!" Cullen shouted as he walked down the rows of soldiers.

Cassandra brushed snow flurries off her armour, as she surveyed the crowd of recruits. "Good afternoon, I am Cassandra Pentaghast. New, Lord Seeker as well as second in command. I hail from Nevarra, and detest any far stretched rumors you may have possibly heard about me."

"Interesting introduction Cassandra," Cullen smirked as he stopped at the middle row of recruits. Cassandra had cut her eyes over at him, but shrugged her off. He rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, "I am Cullen Rutherford of Fereldan. You will all address me as Commander Cullen. A brief background on my behalf, and before rumors start to float, I am an ex-Templar. I served at the Circle of Magi in Fereldan during the Fifth Blight. I also witnessed the destruction and damn near annulment of all mages within the circle." He glanced up to the sky, "The aftermath of the incident did cause major problems; resulting in the reassignment of many Templars. I was one of the many who were sent away to another circle...a change of scenery they claimed." Bitterly he sighed as memories came rushing through.

He once again began to pace back and forth, "My relocation brought me to Kirkwall in 9:32 Dragon. Another case where the right of annulment was evoked after the destruction of the Chantry as well as the death of Knight-Captain Meredith and Grand Enchanter Orsino. After which, I received a face to face invite to the Inquisition by Lady Cassandra. I am grateful to have position of Commander within the Inquisition." He gave Cassandra a warming smile, which she generously returned.

From where he resided, Cole frowned as Cullen's song rose in volume. He continued to observe even as he heard Cullen's painful and sad song. Unconsciously, he started to brainstorm ideas to ease Cullen's pain. The blonde locked his eyes onto Thom Rainer, who had removed his helmet.

Hardened eyes, Thom did a quick sweep of all the recruit; all appeared nervous. The corner of his mouth twitched into a half-smile. "At ease recruits. I know how easy it is to get second thoughts of the situation you placed yourself into." The recruits all glanced at each other, some smile and others let loose a relaxed sigh.

"Good on you, now my name is Thom Rainer. I hail from the Orlais and was formerly a decorated soldier under Grand Duke Gaspard's command." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, "I was also a wanted man for terrible crime that I am ashamed to admit, however I have come to terms with this selfish act I agreed to commit. I am now proud to say that I am a Grey Warden and as well as a member of the Inquisitor's inner circle. You may address me as Blackwall and I will be in charge of training you lot."

Cole watched for hours, observing. The recruits learned several different unique formations as well as being prepared to quickly change positions. After, sometime he decided to leave and continue his search for Nienna; ultimately going into Skyhold Castle.

"Ah, Cole!" Josephine had walked from her office. She appeared stressed over something, Cole could only begin to guess that it had something to do with Sera. "I am uncertain if anyone has told you this, but Lady Lavellan as been looking for you for quite sometime now. You may want to see what she wants, you'll find her in her private quarters. Good day to you."

Cole watched as Josephine exited his sight. It was then he began to make his way to Nienna's private quarters. As he reached for the door knob he felt an odd sensation take over his body; he brushed it off, trying to ignore strange feeling.

He stalked up the stairs, seeing that the door was already open slightly; he peeked through the crack of the door. He watched as the elf paced back and forth, obviously something bothering her. Cole closed his eyes, concentrating; he wanted find the source of the frustration and pain she was having.

"_Afraid, he left? Confusion, guilt, doubt – did I cause his disappearance? Am I the source of his distress? We would walk this path. Painful, scared, curious. Does he not want to share the pain? I want to be like him. Compassion. Helping, loving, careful. Does he believe he'll hurt me? Why..._" His brows furrowed as he opened his eyes; he pushed the door and closed it.

Nienna jumped at the sound of the click; she turned around with a spell prepared. Her eyes met pale blue, "Oh, Creators...it's just you." Cole smiled, but gave her a confused look when she marched up to him and smacked his shoulder. "You made me worry! I thought you left...that I..."

"I'm sorry, I overslept." Cole's pale blue eyes followed the elf as she walked toward her balcony. "Everyone told me that you were looking for me...?"

Nienna nodded her head as she twirled to face Cole, "Yes, I was and then I got hungry, and decided to stay here. I knew you'd probably come looking for me anyway." She motioned Cole to come over, he without second thought, walked. "I wanted to tell you that Lelianna, Divine Victoria, has finally found someone to take her place as Spy Master. He'll be arriving in a week, I think. He's apparently a smooth talking, flirtatious Antivan elf, but she warned me about his ways."

"Can we trust him?" Cole asked warily.

"I don't know," Nienna leaned on the painted railing, "Lelianna said that he was another survivor of the fifth blight. He worked alongside the Grey Wardens, under a promise...er threat? Not sure which one but, apparently the Antivan Crows had a contract and assigned him to assassinate the last surviving Wardens." She huffed watching as the coldness reacted to her warm breath, creating a white cloud.

Cole grunted, demeanor darkening, "I don't like him. He sounds like he would hurt people, even if he wasn't told to." He placed both his bandaged hands on the railing to hold himself up as he leaned to peek down.

Nienna had to hold her tongue from giggling. She admired Cole's overprotective personality he had developed, something most would find overbearing. "I'm willing to give him a chance. The Warden's did so why not me?"

Unnoticed by Nienna, Cole gazed over her way. He admitted to himself that everyone deserves a chance, even if they're background shows them to be shady. Cole knew that he would be a perfect example, even when he confessed to being the one who murdered all those people in the Spire Rhys never judged him. He snapped out his thought process when Nienna spoke up.

"You'll give him a chance, right Cole?" Nienna asked quietly.

Cole was reluctant to agree, but his faith and trust for the little elf wasn't misplaced. He witnessed her choices and saw how it shaped those around her, and survived to see the results. "If you are, then I will. I will."

"Overslept, huh? So very human-like of you," smirking, her eyes wonder to Cole. He stood there diligently taking in the vast snow cover mountains. She reached for the flap of his hat, much to her surprise he was staring at her. "Ugh, perfect assassin. Cut people up with those eyes," she fell silent; trying to find emotion within his pale blue eyes. "There something you want to share...?"

Cole covered her hand with his own and removed his hat; he shook his head. "You do though." Brown eyes stared intensely into pale.

She smiled warily and clutched the old hat to her chest, "Maybe, but I know you're lying. You're not a good one either."

Nienna walked over to the half wall and sat down, "I do, but you have to tell me what's wrong? Why have you been acting weird, and playing hard to catch? Did I..."

Cole cut her off shouting, "No! You didn't do anything wrong, Nienna. It's just..." He sighed heavily as he seated himself in front of her, "Dreams...no not dreams. These are much more scarier, nightmares." Pausing; he took a few moments to sort through his own thoughts – memories, "_Ripping, pulling, aching. The heart shatters into pieces, forming the wrong shape. Beaten and bruised body, hidden away – air thickened with the smell of death. Screaming, crying, trapped; release me from this hellishness I suffer from. Holding close, protective never letting go. Quiet. Fear takes over silence and then...nothing_." He turned his gaze towards the ground; hands pressed firmly against the marble floor.

She placed Cole's old hat to the side and scooted closer towards him. Small slim dark hands clasped atop larger pale ones, "Don't worry Cole, it's just some crazy dream. I promise, those are just normal." He looked at her, haunted eyes behind long blonde bangs. "Just know, I chose to walk this path with you; I'm hear to help you. Okay?"

"But you're hurting too..." He muttered, latching his hands onto her own, he gave a gentle squeeze. "You are afraid. _Frightened by the anchor, consumed by the darkness no escape. Difficult to breath to move, demons_...you are afraid that demons will make the veil thin and break through. You are scared they would kill you." Gently he tugged at her hand, ushering her closer, embracing her protectively, "I will not allow it. I'll protect you."

Nienna smiled into his chest, "Thank you, Cole. Even though I am fully capable of defending myself, you truly are a kind hearted person. You are compassion and will always be." She sighed, perfectly content, "I...you know, you're right," she pulled away slightly to look up, "I am afraid. I just don't want to cause a panic. I talked to Sera about it, which turned out to be the worst idea ever, but she was insightful about fears and how to conquer them."

Cole surprised her when he laughed lightly, the same laugh from their date. Her eyebrows pressed together, "What's funny?" He had gave her a warming smile as he looked down at her, "...Never thought you to be the silly sort Cole."

"Silly?" He questioned curiously with his brows raised, "Cassandra reads to me Varric's books. They make me feel strange." He unwrapped his arms around her, knowing for sure that her hurt had faded into the background. He leaned back holding himself up with his hands.

Nienna stared, astonished and mouth agape. Cole's behavior and ways had been surprising her time after time, she had to wonder why this would be any different. "W-where did that come from?!"

Broad shoulders shrugged, "I thought it would be something silly. So, I shared it with you." He flashed a sly smirked before regaining his normal composure.

"You're weird, Cole..." Nienna stated with a goofy smile. She glanced up at the skies, it looked like a snowstorm would make a passing. "I'm serious though, about your new life. I don't want you to feel like you're alone."

As she slid to press her back to the wall, Cole crawled his way to sit beside her. A peaceful silence settled, Nienna scooted closer to Cole and rested her head on his shoulder. He shifted to allow more comfort to Nienna. A small smile twitched upon his lips and he muttered, "I know...I've always known. Thank you."

* * *

_"__When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful." ~**Barbara Bloom**_


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